Cat Planet

When I was in elementary school I had a friend named Phillip Gibbons. Now Phillip was one of those friends who I call a friend now because he clearly was, though at the time I thought he was my worst enemy, the weird boy who chased me around the playground every recess, the boy who I told on when he tackled me even though I goaded him on.

Phillip was a bit more eccentric than the usual first or second grade child though. Because you see, he was actually a king from the Planet Cat, sent to Earth in order to seek out a new bride for the cat throne. His previous bride, he informed me, was a pink furred cat named Feline Fluffball Fluffy. He once sang me a song about her that I will never forget:

Feline fluffball fluffy, she's the one! We had eight kittens! Feline Fluffball Fluffy!

He attempted to woo me several times, offering me a ring with a spider on the top, which I wanted desperately but could never take because I refused to agree to being Philip's cat queen. So we resorted to our daily routine of being lifelong nemeses. I would run through the playground, flinging myself wildly under play structures if I wanted to hide, or else slowing down from exhaustion just enough so that Phillip could catch me. Phillip would tie his jacket around his neck and scream "Cheetah speed!" when he made chase, hissing through his teeth until saliva spilled from his mouth and clawing the air in front of him with arms outstretched, as though hoping to gain speed by pretending that he was a quadruped. He would often call down the powers of this cat agility in order to traverse the monkey bars and fall on all fours any time he fell off. He would also look through secret files in his lunch box being sent to him by those still residing on Cat Planet.

Sometimes I think about Phillip and how he provided the most vivid and most entertaining memories that I have of my elementary school days. I never noticed it then, of course, but now I marvel at how consistent he was with his behavior. Cat Planet was never a whim for him. For the two years that I attended school with him, it was always the same routine. While the other boys in school obsessed over Batman, and Spiderman, and Transformers on capricious intervals, Phillip's dedication to his beloved Cat Planet never wavered. I've always wanted to see Phillip again, see what he's grown into and see if he remembers as well as I do the epic battles that took place between us. I think if I could go back and watch any part of my life, as a third party, that is the time I would choose.